I just need to learn to stop hoping, and just start coping. Because right now, I'm not coping too well, right now, I'm not okay.
And what people need, more than anything, is closure. They need to know why things ended the way they did. They need to know why that person stayed, while the other had to go away. They need to tie loose ends and fix unsolved problems. Because without closure, these things linger on, your past lingers on. Closure lets you know that the chapter has finally ended and it's time to start a new one.
You know how you know you've grown up? You face decision after decision. You make your mind up just to self doubt yourself out of it. Then sometimes you try to not to care, like the way you did when you were younger and things sorted themselves out. But you find yourself running back, having another go at it. And that's what adulthood is, decision after decision. You create decisions based on the standards that have already been set upon you, even when you know that bar is set way above your head and completely out of reach. Enjoy adulthood.
at 9:14 PM
Him; What are you doing?
Her; I'm getting used to being alone.
And all the things we promised to never let happen, ended up happening.
Just pack your bags, don't say goodbye. Just close your eyes and say yes. Say yes that we'll leave this place. Say yes that we'll get away.
People became enveloped in their lies. Relationships were born through insecurities and trust was a myth not to be believed. And that was when she realised that she had take herself on the train to adulthood and all she had was a one way ticket.
at 6:56 PM
Yesterday is only sweet once compared to today's bitterness.
Because we only accept into our hearts the love we think we deserve. Once a person comes by and shows us more loving then we've ever known, we automatically push them away, because we believe that we have not earnt this love. But the truth is we all do, we deserve all the love in the world. Each and everyone of us is unique and precious.
It's so stupid, when people try to save others. When they put the goods of others in front of themselves. They worry about other people's feelings way too much and bury their own. They volunteer to solve other people's problems, cause they're the only problems they can solve. They answer to other people's questions while their own questions remain unanswered. You might've saved them, but you've lost yourself.
at 7:50 PM
What has happened, has happened. But what will happen tomorrow, the day after, is entirely up to you. So instead of hoping things would fall into place, make them.
If boys will always be boys, then why must the girls have to grow? Why must we become woman? We enter adulthood, leave our dreams and start pursuing problems we know we can't possibly solve. We immerse ourselves in worry drown in our own self pity. But why? Can't girls, just remain as girls?
Because I hate you for being that person that makes me smile without trying but at the same time, being that person that makes me cry without realising.
at 10:06 PM
We spend our days, waiting, for a phone call that might never come, for a text that might never appear. Yet time after time we still wait. Because our heart tells us that one day the phone will ring and that text will come. But really the only thing we're doing, is wasting our time.
We attempt to live the way people expect us to. Taking it day by day, hour by hour until eventually it becomes a routine we're too afraid to break.
Tell me you don't love me like you do. Tell me I don't need you like I do. Tell me we'll never work out like you promised. Tell me I don't make you smile. Tell me anything to stop this hurting.
The feeling I get when I look at you and all our past flashes in front of me. Then the pain sets in. And I remember why I left.
"The times that you hurt me,
And put tears on my face,
And even now while I hate you,
It pains me to say,
I know I'll be there,
At the end of the day."
at 4:35 PM