20090726

Told my mind to fool my heart.


I was hoping, that you would stop hesitating so much. I was hoping that you would stop thinking ahead far too long. I was hoping you would chase after me when I walked. I was hoping when I came back, you'd still be here.


One day I hope you'll regret it. Tbh, I actually hope you would never feel the guilt and that you'll always put the blame on me because then at least you'll always be happy, even if you're finding happiness next to her. Even if she isn't me.



And lets please not talk about the problems. Lets forget all the fights. Lets just pretend that we're all happy. Lets just smile through it all. Lets just try to remind ourselves the way this was supposed to turn out.


It's just that you're a habit that I'm not ready to break. Not as of yet.
"Why? Why couldn't I show her what I felt inside my heart?
Why? Why couldn't I tell her how special she means to me?
Why? Does it have to be this way?"

20090719

I'd rather be with you until they day we fly away.


He bumped into her on the way out to sea, it's been too long since he last saw her. She gave him a smile and the nod of her head then she moved on with her life. In the few seconds that passed between them, he found out again why he loved her so much.


Do they live happily ever after? I don't know, maybe they did. But did they ever manage to fix the mistakes they made? Not ever.


Today, we're going to fight, scream, swear, cry and break everything we've ever built up for something stupid.
Tomorrow, we'll just kiss, laugh, love,hug, smile and look back at all the fucked up things that happened yesterday. We'll do it everyday, but I won't have it any other way.

It's something, to lose someone you truly loved. But it's an entirely different sort of thing, to lose someone who loved you back.

"Sitting here, on this lonely dock,
Watch the rain play on the ocean top,
All the things I feel I need to say,
I can't explain in any other way"

20090712

Not a million fights can make me hate you


One day, you'll come to a realisation, I'm afraid. You'd realise that you are absolutely perfect and that I'm nothing close. You'll realise that I've never really treated you well enough and that really, there's only enough space for one person. Then you'd leave. And I'd realise, how much you meant to me.


Can you feel it? Feel what? The distance that's growing further and further between us...



S
H
E.
Is an idiot for saying goodbye

Y
O
U.
Are an idiot for walking away


Once upon a time, I thought you were strong. I looked up to you. Idolised, adored and loved you. I thought you, I could always lean on, always run to. I thought you had all the answers, I thought you could solve any problem in the world. But it was all a misconcepcion. You don't know a thing, you don't bother to know about a thing, you're an ignorant old careless fool. Cause after all this time. You still have no idea whether you want to be with me or not.


"I haven't seen you,
Feels like a long time.
Sometimes it still hurts,
But I always get by."