I want to hide beneath the blankets for a day. Sink underneath my bedsheets and swim in an ocean of pillows. I want to lie there looking outside my window at the blue cloudless skies or maybe watch the rain fall down in droplets. I want to lie listening to slow music or perhaps listen to the rain drops falling on my rooftops. I want to watch time pass me by.
Just this time round, I want someone to tell me off. Scream it to my face. Tell me how wrong I was. How badly I stuffed up. How I should'ev thought long and hard about it. How I messed it all up. Tell me my mistakes, point out my flaws. Tell me anything, just don't tell me that it's going to be ok.
You've always been the friend kind of person. Always out there having your mates back, pushing them to achieve their best, but you started forgetting about yourself. You started forgetting about me. You were too busy being out there saving the world. But tonight, be mine. And tomorrow, you can go ahead and be the super hero again.
Go on boy, go on boy. Don't worry about her because she's stronger than you think she is. It's not the first time you've let her down, not the first time you've made her cry, not the first time you've told her you no longer needed her. But, before you walk away, before you walk out that door, here's something you should know. Just because she let you come back everytime before, doesn't mean she needs you. Just because you have her heart on a string, doesn't mean you are her controller. Just because she has already let you come back so many times before, doesn't mean that you can walk in and out of her heart whenever you want.
I've already planned my future. Marriage at around 24-27. And either 2 or 3 kids. The only thing I haven't been able to plan, is whether you'll be in my future or not.
I'm heading home today, it's been so long I can barely remember how it looks. Was it a red or green roof? Was it on the corner of the road or was it sitting in the middle of no where? To be honest, I don't know where it is. Still, I'll keep looking for it, I'll keep driving. I know it's out there, somewhere. And I know that I will find it, and when I do. I'll tell you all about it.
"Say you want to talk but you just push me away,
Tell me you're leaving when I want you to stay,
Never thought that loving you would hurt me this way,
But I'm the only one to blame,
Cause I'm always saying it's ok, it's alright,
I put the pain away and let it slide,
I forgive and forget it,
And then you promise me I wont regret it,
But I do."
at 12:03 PM